Effective Alternatives Behaviors and Communication Techniques You Can Use Instead of Nagging

effective communication techniques

Learning Alternatives to Nagging Can Be Powerful for Your Relationships

My success in using Neuro Linguistic programming techniques in helping people make significant shifts in their thinking is to a large extent because NLP has taught me a number of ways to hone my communication skills. One of the great things about NLP is that it teaches you to pay attention to how you communicate.

But the effective communications techniques I use today are not only a result of studying NLP and hypnosis.  I have also made a practice of studying communications since attending a class about communications at the University of San Diego in the early 80’s.

As a result, today I teach communications at a local college and I’d like to share some of these effective communications techniques with you.

Successful Communications

As a practicing Master NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist I often clients that come to my San Diego office who are having issues with someone at work or a loved one.  Sometimes they want to use hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques to help with their situation.

Often I find that all they really need to do is change the way they communicate. They simply need to learn effective communication techniques and alternative behaviors to replace the ones they are presently using.

This is especially true for nagging.

The Problem with Nagging

The biggest problem with nagging is it simply not an effective communication technique and it seldom works. In addition to being ineffective, nagging puts a strain on your relationships and it’s this stress that interferes with your ability to get along with the other person.

Just deciding not to engage in nagging behaviors is on of the best ways to improve your communication skills.

The following are effective alternatives you can use instead of nagging to get what you want. Most are so easy you can start doing them immediately.

Use the following simple but effective alternative behaviors and communication techniques instead of nagging.

1. Count the times you say the same thing.

Nagging is saying the same thing over and over again. If need to convince yourself that nagging doesn’t work then do the math.

Count how many times you say the same thing. What you’ll find is the tenth time you say it is going to get same result as the first nine.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying new ways to communicate.

2. Watch Your Focus

People tend to nag when they focus on negative things. One of the easiest ways to improve your communication skills is to focus on the positive.

That one behavior may irritate you but you can decide to keep your eye on the big picture. How does this person, whether it be a family member, friend or colleague, enrich your life?

When you focus on the positive qualities of your relationship it’s a lot easier to cut the other person some slack for their less pleasant characteristics.

3. If it’s Something Easy, Do it Yourself

Sometimes, rather than waiting for someone else to do a task, it’s easier, faster and more satisfying to complete it yourself.

There are many tasks that are easy that you can do. For example, you can learn to replace the air filter in your car instead of taking it to a mechanic. In addition to getting it done quicker it will also save you between $30 – 40 for about 10 minutes work.

If your spouse is supposed to sweep the stairs or wash the dishes but you see it needs to be done and you have the time, just do it!  The task will be out of the way and your spouse may actually thank you for it!

4. Don’t Look for Someone to do it “The right Way”

Everyone approaches tasks differently. If you want to improve your communications and your relationships, learn to be more flexible in your approach.

For example if your kid’s method doing something is different than yours, appreciate their willingness to help and accept the difference. If their bed is neatly made it makes the room look tidier. They don’t need to have sharp, military corners on the sheets.

5. Let Others Experience Consequences

Your kids brings home a science project due the next morning. This is the same evening when you usually go grocery shopping.

While you don’t want them to fail their science project, allowing them to eat tuna fish sandwiches for a week could help them understand the importance of giving you adequate notice.

6. Delegate

Get outside help to complete some of the tasks you have to do.

Instead of nagging your spouse about sweeping and cleaning you may want to consider paying a house cleaning professional for chores that cause ongoing conflicts. This small cost may be well worth the investment.

If you have to drive your kids around town a lot, find another parent at your kid’s school that wants to car pool for soccer practice.

7. Jettison Unnecessary Tasks and Duties

Chronic irritability can cause many communication problems and is often a sign that you’re trying to accomplish too much. If you find you’re stressed because you’re doing too much see what you can do to streamline your workload.

An easy thing to do is to write out all of you r regular tasks and responsibilities and then decide which ones are priorities and which you can get rid of.

8. Use Technology to Free Up Your Time

Instead being a slave to technology use it to free your time and improve your communications. Using brief text messages and delivering automated calendar reminders are easy ways to improve your communications.

Using these methods allows you to deliver the same information without putting people on the defensive.

For example, you can use technology to remind your partner of your dinner party without having to say a word.

9. Step Away

You can improve your communication skills simply by taking a time out when things get heated.  Giving yourself and the other person a little space will allow you both to calm down so that you can deal with those sensitive subjects.

So the next time you feel your temperature rising go take a walk until you settle down. Sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for your relationship.

Here are 3 more advanced alternative behaviors and communication techniques you can use instead of nagging.

1. Dig for the Real Cause

Nagging, like all behaviors have root issues.

Invest a little time into probing more deeply into the situation. This can help you understand if nagging is a symptom of deeper issues in your relationships.

If you need, get professional help from a marriage counselor or take parenting classes. These can help you get to the bottom of what’s really going on.

2. Instead of Nagging Ask for What You Want

Work up the courage to simply but directly ask for what you want. Although advanced, this is one of the most effective communication techniques there is.

You don’t have to be rude to use this technique, simply state what you need clearly and tactfully. What you’ll find is learning to do this will help you solve your issues instead of brooding over it.

Remember, one skillfully communicated message will beat years of beating around the bush.

3. Learn to Listen to Understand

Stephen Covey in his book, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People’ made his fifth habit, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

One of the most effective communication techniques is to learn how to listen well. This means you need to practice attentive listening.

Active listening involves concentrating on what the other person is saying and then confirming that you understand by repeating in your own words what they have said. You continue to do this until the other person feels understood

It’s much easier to gain cooperation when the person you’re taking to feels validated and understood.

You Can Improve Your Relationships by Using these Effective Alternative Behaviors and Communication Techniques Starting Today!

Just looking for ways to improve your communication skills can make you feel better about yourself. At the very least this will help you build your self esteem.

Encourage yourself to stay on track while learning these new skills with positive self talk about your relationships and developing meaningful communication goals.

When you feel strong and secure you’ll be much less likely to look for faults in others.

Hopefully by now you understand that nagging isn’t getting you the results you desire. Nagging simply doesn’t work.

Use these alternative behaviors and communication techniques to nagging to change your expectations and focus on the positive.

Invest some time in proving your communication skills.

What you’ll find is not only will you end up with happier relationships in every area of your life, you’ll also most likely to end up with a much cleaner house.


Related Article

Click here to Read

Changing Bad Habits into Good Habits


Interested in Neuro Linguistic Programming and Hypnosis Techniques for Improving Your Communication Skills?

Are you looking for ways to improve your communication skills? Would you like help improving your communications? Neuro Linguistic Programming and Hypnosis techniques have been found to be very powerful methods for replacing negative communication skills with more positive ones.

If you are interested in ways to improve your communication skills then download your FREE Hypnosis Relaxation Recording by following this link…

About the Author

Wil Dieck is America’s #1 Mental Fitness Coach©. He is also the founder of Total Mind Therapy©, a system that uses Neuro Emotional Conditioning (NEC)©.

NEC is a system that uses the best of three highly effective processes, advanced hypnotherapy (hypnosis), NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques and the deep breathing meditative breathing techniques from Qigong, a Chinese Martial Art. He has combined them into one powerful system that can help you make quick and lasting shifts in your thinking and your behavior.

Wil is a Master Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner (NLP) hypnotherapist and Qigong Practitioner. His office is located in San Diego, CA.

He has taught hundreds of people in individual and business settings how to use Neuro Emotional Conditioning (NEC)© techniques in both their business and personal lives in methods for ways of improving their communication skills and living the life of their dreams.

Wil is available for individual coaching sessions and group presentations on how to use NEC or hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming as well as the deep breathing meditation techniques from Qigong for improving your communication skills.

If you are interested in learning more about using Neuro Emotional Conditioning (NEC)© techniques for improving your communication skills then call (619) 293-3255 for your complimentary personalized assessment and action plan. In this session we’ll discuss the goals you wish to achieve and you’ll go away with an action plan packed with information on how to achieve those goals.