How to be More Assertive and Confident

how to be assertive and confident

How to be assertive and confident

“I think that the power is the principle. The principle of moving forward, as though you have the confidence to move forward, eventually gives you confidence when you look back and see what you’ve done.”Robert Downey, Jr.

If you go to a bookstore you’ll find that self-help books take up a big part of their shelving space. Self-help are books also the most common request at libraries across the nation.


It’s because people from all walks of life, business people, homemakers, college students, are all looking for ways to better their lives and the most sought after quality people are trying to improve is that of being more assertive and confident.

The Need to be More Assertive and Confident

assertive and confident

Learn How Black Belts Become Assertive and Confident

In the workplace, the need to be more assertive and confident begins to assert itself at the very beginning of your career. At your interview your potential employer is looking for a set of core qualities. High on their list are assertiveness and confidence.

That’s because a person who is assertive and confident is perceived as the one who gets things done. We admire people who can get things done.

Another term for a person who is assertive and confident is “leader”.

How to Develop Assertiveness and Confidence

If you want to achieve your goals in life, you need to have or develop these two invaluable character traits. While some people come to the workplace more assertive and confident, you can learn how to develop these coveted characteristics.

Here are 5 Methods You Can Use to Be More Assertive and Confident:

1. Shun Your Shyness

While it can be healthy to be shy, for some people shyness can be debilitating.

Being shy does not mean you have low self-esteem. There are many shy people who have a very positive image of themselves. They simply lack assertiveness and confidence.

If you suffer from shyness, here are some techniques you can practice that will help you to overcome your shyness:

Use visualization or self hypnosis. The reason you react a certain way is because you expect a certain outcome, such as someone giggling or making fun of you. While this outcome may have actually happened to you when you were in third grade, you’ve grown since then and it most likely won’t happen today.

Use self hypnosis or visualize a positive outcome for your situations and circumstances before you actually go through them. This provides you with “what if” scenarios and helps you be better prepared for any situations that pop up.

Practice speaking in front of a mirror or to trusted friends. Some people who are shy are uncomfortable with the sound of their own voices. By practicing speaking in front of a mirror or with trusted friends you’ll learn to trust your voice. This will allow you to gain the confidence you need.

Practice using positive affirmations. Using affirmations helps you engage your conscious and subconscious minds and helps you to “see” yourself differently.  By using positive affirmations to assert the characteristics you desire you can change your outcome.

Positive affirmations can also help you to convince yourself that you are actually brilliant and worthy of great things. This is important because often the hardest person to convince is you!

2. Learn to Be Assertive Instead of Aggressive

No one wants to be labeled as aggressive. You want to be assertive. This means you need to know the difference between being aggressive and assertive.

Aggressive people are usually that way because they don’t know any other way of dealing with problems. Often they have low self esteem.

• While an assertive person will give you their opinion, an aggressive person is one who bullies and approaches situations with harsh criticism. They are the person who tells you that you’re choice for solving a problem is “all wrong,” for example.

• While the aggressive person tries to bully you into their solution, an assertive person approaches the same situation by listening to your solution, making you aware of their concerns and sharing ideas on how you might go about solving the problem differently.

• Your goal should be to cultivate an assertive attitude. This will allow you to approach people positively while providing them with alternative solutions to the problem. If you respect others and treat them as you want to be treated, you’ll have the same courtesy returned to you.

3. Be Prepared and Know What You’re Talking About    

If you want to improve your confidence its essential to know and understand your subject matter.

• No matter the situation, a job interview or a presentation to your peers, the more you know about your topic the more confident you’ll be.

• Prepare for potential questions. Have a trusted coworker help you to identify the most commonly asked questions and their answers. This will help you to develop even more confidence.

4. Give Your Opinion Confidently   

Give your opinion confidently even if you don’t feel confident. Make it your practice to speak up with confidence. The more you practice speaking with confidence, the more it will become second nature to you.

5. Find Someone You Can Model

Modeling is a Neuro Linguistic Programming technique and one of the best techniques for becoming more assertive and confident. Find someone you admire and model their confident and assertive behaviors.

• Observe the way they do things.

• Use similar words and say things the using the style they use.

• Mimic their body language.

Modeling people who have the traits you desire is one of the best ways to develop those very same traits in yourself.

You Can Learn to Be Assertive and Confident

Assertive and Confident

Learn How Black Belts Become Assertive and Confident

Practice these methods to be more assertive and confident these and you’ll be on the right path to success. While it can take time and effort, learning to be confident and assertive will give you the tools you need to better achieve your goals, whatever they may be.

You can start by developing a deep belief in yourself and your abilities. If you need assistance in doing this get help. A hypnotherapist can be very useful in these types of situations.

Also remember that some of our greatest leaders didn’t start out as assertive and confident. It has been reported that George Washington was too shy to talk to people growing up.

As you know, George Washington changed his ways, and because of him we share a great existence. The best news is you can change too!


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Interested in Hypnosis to be More Assertive and Confident?

Would you like to be more assertive and confident? Hypnosis has been found to be one of the most powerful and effective ways to shift your thinking and so you can become more assertive and confident.

If you are interested in using hypnosis to be more assertive and confident then download your FREE Hypnosis Relaxation Recording by following this link…assertive And confident

About the Author

Wil Dieck is America’s #1 Mental Fitness Coach©. He is also the founder of Total Mind Therapy©, a system that uses Neuro Emotional Conditioning (NEC)©.

NEC is a system that uses the best of three highly effective processes, advanced hypnotherapy (hypnosis), NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques and the deep breathing meditative breathing techniques from Qigong, a Chinese Martial Art. He has combined them into one powerful system that can help you make quick and lasting shifts in your thinking and your behavior.

Wil is a Master Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner (NLP) hypnotherapist and Qigong Practitioner. His office is located in San Diego, CA.

He has taught hundreds of people in individual and business settings how to use Neuro Emotional Conditioning (NEC)© techniques in both their business and personal lives to be more assertive and confident and live the life of their dreams.

Wil is available for individual coaching sessions and group presentations on how to use NEC or hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming as well as the deep breathing meditation techniques from Qigong to be more assertive and confident.

If you are interested in learning more about using Neuro Emotional Conditioning (NEC)© techniques to be more assertive and confident then call (619) 293-3255 for your complimentary personalized assessment and action plan. In this session we’ll discuss the goals you wish to achieve and you’ll go away with an action plan packed with information on how to achieve those goals.