How to Be Confident

“Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.” – Leib Lazarow

I’m hallucinating (for me to hallucinate means to imagine) that sometimes things happen that result in you developing self doubt. I’m also hallucinating that when you doubt yourself your self-esteem and confidence suffer. That’s normal. Everyone is affected by low self-esteem and low self confidence every once in a while. It’s when low self-esteem is ongoing, when low self confidence seems to be the norm that problems arise.

I work with all types of people. Clients come to me to help them using hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP in my San Diego office for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes those reasons revolve around low self confidence and esteem. Today I’d like to talk about how to build your self confidence and self-esteem and give you a couple of techniques that can help you gain confidence instantaneously.

The Problem With Low Self Esteem and Confidence

When low self esteem and confidence are the norm they can hold you back from reaching your dreams. They keep you from asking the world for what you really want, leaving you to receive only the scraps life tosses at you. I think it was Zig Ziglar that said, “Timid salespeople have skinny kids.” This is true, no matter what you do in life. If you are timid, if you lack the self confidence you need, you set up roadblocks that will continually hold you back, that will keep you from succeeding. But there are some simple strategies that can help you gain self confidence and improve your self esteem.

How to Build Your Self Confidence

So how do you how to build your self confidence? There are some simple strategies you can use. Strategies that can quickly remove your low self esteem and replace it with the confidence you need to succeed.

Use the following strategies to help you quickly re-build your self esteem and confidence.

1. Know Yourself

Lao Tzu once said, “Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.” In order to build your self confidence you need to know and accept yourself. To get to know yourself better, do the following exercise:

a) Answer this question, “What would you dare to attempt if you knew it was impossible for you to fail?” I heard Dr. Robert Schuller ask this question a long time ago. What are your dreams? If you have difficulties answering that question then answer this one, “What did you dream about doing and becoming when you were a child? What have you always wanted to attempt?”

b) Write out a list of your talents. You say you have none? Then ask your friends and family what you’re good at.  What of the many abilities that you possess have you received compliments on?

c) What are you excited about in your life right now? If you say you are not excited about anything what could you be excited about?

d) What’s great about your life? If you say nothing’s great, then what could be great in your life right now?

e) What would you like to improve in your life? Again if you say nothing then what might you improve? Once you identify this then what steps can you take to improve those areas? Do you need a coach, a mentor or a guide to make those shifts? Whose help could you enlist?

This is the initial steps you need to take to build your self confidence.  Going through this process will help you become clear on who you are, what’s important to you, and where you’re headed. This will help you to feel more empowered and more in control of your destiny.

By uncovering these answers you are discovering your passions. Your passions will fuel your confidence. This is the deep inner confidence that will catapult you in the direction of your dreams

2. Fake it until you make it

I don’t remember where I first read this but it is one of the quickest ways to gain confidence. One of the best ways to build your self esteem is to pretend that you’re self confident already. It’s something used in Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP all the time, adapting or modeling the psychology and physiology of someone with the type of behaviors you would like to have.

I understand that this may seem silly at first, but as you begin to move your body and speak like you would if you were confident, you’ll quickly gain self-confidence. Here are some things to think about as you model confident behavior:

How fast does a confident person speak?

At what volume does he or she speak?

How does he or she gesture with their hands?

How fast does he or she walk?

How does he or she move their body?

How does he or she stand?

Once you figure out the answers to these questions, use your answers to pretend you’re confident. Start moving your body in confident ways. Your emotions will follow your body’s motion.

3. Model someone who’s already successful

As we talked about in number 2, modeling the behavior of someone who is already confident is an excellent method to gain confidence. Do you remember the last Superbowl? What did the New York Giants all have in common? It was the confidence that they could win, especially in the last minutes of the game. They understood what every winning team understands, confidence breeds success. They were confident in their ability to pull it out, to win, and they did.

The same goes for individuals who want to gain success. If you want to build your self-confidence, hang around with people who already possess self-confidence and model their success.

By the way, there is another way to build your self confidence. It’s call the trial and error method. This is when you do everything on your own and gain self confidence by accomplishing the things you set out to achieve. You are probably already using this method. It works great when things are going well but what happens when things don’t go so smoothly? An easier and better method, a way that also shortens your learning curve, is though a model or mentor. How do you choose a model or mentor?

Search out somebody who has already done what you are trying to accomplish. Approach them and ask if they would show you the ropes. Ask them how they arrived at their success and how they maintain it. Then ask them to show you how to do it and then follow their advice. It’s that simple. With a mentor, your chances of success increase dramatically.

You Can Break Out of the Low Self Confidence Trap

You can break out of the low self-esteem and low self confidence trap. Success is only a few steps from where you are today. Confidence in yourself and your abilities is within your reach. By applying these strategies you can make the shift you need to take you on the smooth path to success.

Each one of us has a lot to offer the world. Follow this strategy and it will take you on a path filled with self confidence and achievement. A path that allows you to give to the world, living a life filled with joy. That’s real success.

Using Total Mind Therapy to Build Your Self Confidence

Are you interested in understanding how your subconscious mind affects your self confidence and success? Would you like to learn how you can put your subconscious mind to work, developing your self confidence for you? Then download a copy of the report “Discover the Secrets of Your Subconscious Mind”. This $29.99 report can be yours for absolutely no charge for a limited time only. Click here to download your complimentary report now.

Wil Dieck is a hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner located inSan Diego, CA. He is the founder of Total Mind Therapy, a method that blends hypnosis and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) to help people make quick shifts in their thinking and their behaviors. If you are interested in learning more about how Total Mind Therapy can help you then call (619) 293-3255. You’ll be scheduled for a risk free evaluation to determine how Total Mind Therapy can benefit you.