Build Rapport With NLP

build rapport

Good communications are built on trust. Trust comes much easier when that person feels a sense of rapport with you. That’s why one of best uses of NLP is to build rapport.

Defining Rapport

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, rapport is:

“relation marked by harmony, conformity, accord, or affinity”

So how can you use NLP to develop a harmonious relationship with others? That’s what we’re going to talk about next.

Mimicking Posture, Movement and Body Language

An old salesman’s “trick” for building rapport this technique does 2 things. First, because the prospect notices that your posture is like hers, it sets the prospect at ease.

Secondly, it helps you understand another person’s mindset. Your brain begins to think like another person when you adopt their facial expressions, gestures, eye movements and physical posture.

Copy Speech Patterns and Language

Speaking like the person you’re talking with is an excellent method to build rapport. You feel more comfortable around people who speak your same language. The same goes for everyone else.

Rate of Speech

What’s the difference between the speech patterns of a person from New York City and a person from Atlanta? One of the most obvious is the rate or speed of their speech. One of the easiest ways you can build rapport is to match the other person’s rate of speech.

Words and Phrases

You also want to use specific words and phrases.  Matching their words and phrases makes them feel understood and it helps you understand their mindset.

Find Out and Talk About Your Similarities

When building rapport, find out how you are similar to the other person. You can do this by the way you talk as well as your physical movements and facial genitures.

Another simple way to build rapport is by recognizing and complementing their style of dress, choice in personal vehicle or sports team apparel.


Returning to the dictionary, we find that empathize means having the same feelings as another person. This requires you to “get into the mind” of another person. By understanding a person’s inner desires, you can better help them know, like and trust you.

Use These NLP Techniques to Build Rapport

NLP can help you build deep rapport. Rapport helps to create a strong, trusting connection. Used correctly, it helps both sides feel like they are on the same page. This will make a huge difference in understanding and influencing another person.

About the Author:

Wil Dieck

Wil Dieck is an author, speaker, college professor and researcher. He is also a master hypnotherapist, NLP Trainer and master martial arts instructor. For the past forty years, he has taught people, from a variety of backgrounds, how to create and maintain the habits of success.

Wil runs a leadership and peak performance coaching practice in San Diego, California. He helps his clients create the belief systems of successful people and leaders, allowing them to make the most of their personal and professional lives.

Wil is also a professor of psychology and business at San Diego University for Integrated Studies.

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