Transform Your Life by Banishing Negative Self Talk

Stop the Anxiety

How to Stop the Anxiety

“The more man meditates upon good thoughts the better will be his world and the world at large.”  – Confucius

Confucius hit the nail on the head. If you continually think positive thoughts your world gets better. On the other hand if you are constantly thinking negative thoughts your life gets worse. This is because your thinking controls your focus. So instead of developing the world of your dreams, a negative focus actually attracts the things you don’t want into your life.

There are a number of different methods to help you change your focus. By drawing on techniques used in hypnosis and NLP, you can transform your thinking and your life. Instead of merely getting by, you’ll find that your life can truly be exceptional. By using positive thinking, you will teach your mind to focus on positive solutions rather than your challenges.

The problem with negative self talk and thinking

Negative self talk and thinking usually manifests themselves as worrying. Most people think that worrying is natural and somehow a good thing. In fact, if you are like most people you probably think that worrying about your situation helps in some way or another. You might think that since what you are worried about is on your mind you should be able to come up with a solution. The problem is that worrying doesn’t help you think clearly at all. In fact, it actually causes you to become more stressed and anxious and your mind to shut down.

How to develop positive thinking and self talk

One of the easiest methods of developing a positive outlook on life is to replace negative thinking with positive thinking. You can do this by changing your self talk, what you say to yourself on a regular basis. If you use the following strategy for a minimum of 3 weeks you’ll change the way you look at life.

1. Keep track of your thoughts

As you go through your day keep track of any negative self talk or thinking that pops into your head. As soon as you recognize any negative thoughts stop and immediately go to step 2.

2. Cancel your negative thinking

Once you recognize negative thinking or self talk cut it off in the moment by saying “cancel, cancel” out loud to yourself. You can reinforce this by adding some kind of physical movement such as rubbing your hands together as if you were wiping something off them, representing wiping your brain clear of those negative thoughts.

3. Decide to focus on solutions.

Once you’ve gone through step 2 think about possible solutions.  When you’re faced with a negative thought (and, if you are like most people there will be many of them), the best response is to think to yourself, “How can I solve or improve this challenge?” The point is to immediately begin focusing on solutions. Why? Because you get answers to the questions you ask. When you ask a good question, you receive good answers. After doing this for a few weeks you will find you have taught your mind to think of solutions to your challenges instead of focusing on them.

Develop habits that empower you

Developing habits is a matter of practice. The problem is that once you develop a habit, positive or negative, it occurs automatically, without any thinking at all. In NLP and hypnosis we recognize this and that’s why we work on helping clients develop positive habits they choose rather than some of the negative habits they’ll fallen in to.

Most experts tell us that a habit will take a minimum of 21 days to develop. Since this is the case, if you want to develop new, positive habits you need to make a conscious commitment to change your thinking and self talk for that period of time. Don’t worry if you find yourself struggling to stay positive at first.  It’s common to have numerous slips as you change your thinking and self talk habits. Refrain from beating yourself up over it. Remember, you’re focusing on solutions.

If you continue the process after the 21 days are completed, you’ll develop a permanent habit that will only require a minimal amount of maintenance on your part.

How to turn negative thoughts into positive thinking and self talk

As mentioned before, the questions you ask yourself will direct your thinking. If, for example, you constantly ask yourself, “Why do I always make that same mistake?” your mind will come up with all types of reasons you make that same mistake. On the other hand if you ask yourself, “What did I learn from this?” your mind will start to come up with things you’ve learned, things you can use to avoid the next time a similar event happens.

Questions to change your thinking

The following are some specific questions you can use to change a negative perception into something positive and can help you to start thinking positively on a consistent basis:

• What did I learn from ______? (whatever the learning experience is)

• What is great about this?

• What do I like the most about this?

• Who could I ask to help me with this?

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to keep your mind focused on the positive things in your life:

• What am I happy about right now in my life?

Note: I understand that you might say “I don’t have anything to be happy about”. When I ask a client this question in a hypnosis and NLP session and they tell me “I don’t have anything to be happy about” I’ll ask, “If you did have something to be happy about what might it be?’” You can use the same technique, asking yourself, “What might I be _____ of with all of these questions.

• What am grateful for in my life right now?

• What am I most proud of right now in my life?

• What am I most looking forward to in my life?

By asking these questions you are filling your mind with positive thoughts. This doesn’t allow any room for the negative stuff. Since you can only consciously think about one thing at a time, making the most out of the thoughts you allow in your mind only makes sense.

Your 1 month challenge

Although this system seems easy you’ll probably be surprised by how difficult it can be to give up negatively and develop consistent positive thinking and self talk. The change can only come through a committed effort.

James Allen once said, “He who would be useful, strong, and happy must cease to be a passive receptacle for the negative, beggarly, and impure streams of thought; and as a wise householder commands his servants and invites his guests, so must he learn to command his desires and to say, with authority, what thoughts he shall admit into the mansion of his soul.”

If you really give this system a try it can change your life. Try it for 1 month. Work at it every day. I believe you’ll be so amazed at the results that you’ll never want to go back to the old way of worrying and dwelling on the challenges in your life again. Use these simple strategies to develop positive thinking and self talk. You can start making your life more positive today.

Are you interested in knowing more about the secrets of how you can re-program your subconscious mind using process like affirmations, meditation, hypnosis and even NLP? If you are, you can receive a 29 page report “Discover the Secrets of Your Subconscious Mind” at absolutely no charge. “Discover the Secrets of Your Subconscious Mind”

Wil Dieck is the founder of Total Mind Therapy©, a system you can use to rewire your subconscious mind and create the future you desire. He is a is a leading authority on using NLP and hypnosis, as well as other natural processes, in making quick and lasting life transformations. You can reach Wil at (619) 293-3255.